Me at the Mediterranean.

My dad suggested today that I post some of my thoughts on France. I’ve been here a week now, and I’ve actually done a fair bit of journaling (for me), so I thought I’d share some of that here rather than trying to come up with something new and clever. The following are all excerpts from emails I’ve sent or journal entries I’ve written. I’ve also included a few of my pictures.

journal entry, 5.17
I’ve been here just over forty-eight hours now. I’m still horribly jet lagged, and I’m fighting a migraine, but the sun is shining and I’m content. This morning we had croissants. Mine was delicious, but then [my hosts] apologized for not getting the really good ones. “These aren’t the good ones?” I said. Tonight we might make duck confit. I’m trying to try new things. I also sat in on a French lesson this morning. I’m not as bad as I think I am, I just need to get more confidence and practice more. One of those things, however, depends on the other.

travel journal entry, 5.16
Toulouse: Today I killed a lot of spiders. Over a dozen, probably. But the one I missed fell off the ceiling and may now be in my bed. Joy. Today was a lazy day. I walked into town with [my host and her dog], but we got rained on. Pour le dîner, j’ai mangé chicken parmesan et du vin rouge. C’était très bon. Now excuse me. Another two spiders are getting uncomfortably close to my bed.

email to my family, 5.20
I may have moved forward in the Great French Spider War of 2013 (GFSW13). I woke up this morning and found none (except for the little black one, still on my ceiling; until he provokes me, I’m treating him as a deserter). None in my room, none in the hallway, and just one dead guy, right next to my toothbrush. He definitely wasn’t there last night. I think after I demolished the forces in their frontal, aerial assault, they were demoralized. Maybe they thought to bring me the same type of fear by leaving a dead guy near my toothbrush, but what they don’t realize is that I cheer at every spider death.

The view from Puycelsi.

travel journal entry, 5.18
Tournefeuille: I figured I should list where I actually am, not just the nearest big city. Today we went to Gaillac, where we met with some of [my hosts'] friends and their daughter (and her daughter). Then we drove to Puycelsi. It’s a beautiful walled village up high in the hills. Some words I learned today:

livraison: home delivery
ruche: beehive
rappel: reminder

email to my family, 5.19
We went to the Mediterranean today, and to Carcassonne. Apparently there’s a story about Carcassonne that says that, back when they were being besieged (is that how you say it?), they had almost given up hope, and then they fed the last pig the last bit of the grain and then threw it over the walls. The pig died, and the opposing army cut it open to find all the grain inside. They assumed that meant their siege was doing no good and that the people had tons to eat, so they left. It’s probably not true, but it’s still a great story. It was a cool city, but it’s been so commercialized. It was a bit sad, actually. Also, a lady got mad at me in Carcassonne. I asked, in French, if she spoke English, and she said, “a little,” but in such a thick accent that I thought she was still speaking French. I responded in French saying I didn’t understand, and she got mad at me. Oh well.

A tower in Carcassonne.

email to my family, 5.21
GFSW13 is going well! Only killed one yesterday. I think I demoralized their troops. The little black defect spider, though, may be reconsidering his choice of sides. I’ve left him alone because he’s left me alone, then yesterday he wanted to hang on near my bed all day. I can’t find him anymore. I’m hopeful he’s moved on to an area that isn’t a spider dying ground.

We stopped at the mall [today], and a woman asked me a question. I didn’t understand at first, so I asked her to repeat. She said, “Are you finding everything you need?” and I said, “Yes,” and turned around. As I was turning, though, I noticed she had a weird look on her face, and only then did I realize that what she actually said was, “Can I help you find anything you need?” Oops! I swear one of these times I’ll do well! I successfully ordered a croissant and a drink at the bakery today, so that’s something, I suppose. Of course, all I had to say was, “One croissant and a Fanta, please.”

GOALS
books: 52
pages: 20,000

STATS
books: 52 (100% to goal)
pages: 20,595 (103% to goal)
on average, I finished a book every 7.0 days
on average, each book had 396.1 pages
this means I read just over 56 pages per day, on average
24/52 books were by women, 15/32 authors were female
24/52 books were new books (yikes!)

TOP FIVE FAVORITE (NEW) BOOKS (in no particular order)
Ayiti, by Roxane Gay
This Is Not Your City, by Caitlin Horrocks
Mother and Child, by Carole Maso
The Language of Flowers, by Vanessa Diffenbaugh
Cataclysm Baby, by Matt Bell

BEST REREAD
The Perks of Being a Wallflower, by Stephen Chbosky

FIVE MOST DISAPPOINTING BOOKS (not necessarily ones I disliked, just ones I expected more from)
Wicked, by Gregory Maguire
Gourmet Rhapsody, by Muriel Barbery
Out of Sight, Out of Time, by Ally Carter
The Giver, by Lois Lowry
Little House in the Big Woods, by Laura Ingalls Wilder

TOP (NEW) BOOKS BY GENRE
literary fiction: Mother and Child, by Carole Maso
poetry: The Folding Star and Other Poems, by Jacek Gutorow
story collection: This Is Not Your City, by Caitlin Horrocks
nonfiction: The Girl Who Was on Fire, edited by Leah Wilson
adult fantasy: The Way of Kings, by Brandon Sanderson

SOME BOOKS I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO READING IN 2013
A Memory of Light, by Robert Jordan and Brandon Sanderson (technically I already read it, but I was REALLY looking forward to it)
In the House upon the Dirt between the Lake and the Woods, by Matt Bell
We Live in Water, by Jess Walter
Half as Happy, by Gregory Spatz

GOALS FOR 201352 books
18,000 pages
at least 30 new books

Katniss is focused and unapologetic.

Katniss Everdeen, from Suzanne Collins’ Hunger Games Series
I know a lot of people don’t like Katniss. They say she’s whiny, or that she’s deliberately toying with Peeta and Gale. I see something different. To me, Katniss is a survivor. At times she is emotionally tough and at others emotionally vulnerable. She cares about her family more than anything in the world—more, even, than herself. It takes her three books to make up her mind about which man to be with because she constantly has to deal with other, more important things. She sees the pain she is causing the two men and does her best to do right by them, but also by herself. She’s a fighter but she does not truly relish the fight.

Jean Louise “Scout” Finch, from Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird
Here is another character who isn’t afraid of who she is. She follows her desires and, on the whole, she has a well-tuned moral compass that doesn’t lead her astray. She is genuinely kind. She feels, but she doesn’t let those feelings run her life. She is innocent yet strangely astute, and the way the older Scout looks back on her childhood makes it certain that she grew into a strong and smart woman.

Elsha, from Sherryl Jordan’s Winter of Fire
Elsha, who lives in a world heavily divided by class and gender, wants equality and respect. She is outspoken even when her words will ultimately bring her pain. But more, she backs her words up with actions, often risking her life and liberty. And through this all, she rarely judges. She tries to befriend those who insult her; she tries for reasoned argument with those who disagree with her. She feels hurt but does not pity herself.

Cammie Morgan, from Ally Carter’s Gallagher Girls series
Cammie is smart and talented but still insecure—and unlike many YA books where insecurity is the humanizing characteristic in an otherwise unlikeable character, Cammie truly shines. She doesn’t know yet what she wants from life, and while she is genuinely afraid of what might be, she never lets fear or unease stop her. She is part of a sisterhood, and she will risk all to protect that sisterhood.

Hermione Granger is smarter than you, and she’s not sorry.

Hermione Granger, from J. K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series
I limited myself to one female character per series or author for this list, and I had the hardest time coming up with my favorite from Harry Potter. I also love Ginny, McGonagall, and Mrs. Weasley, and I’ve always been intrigued by Narcissa Malfoy. Still, I think Hermione is my favorite, because she is never afraid to be who she is, even when it’s uncool. She is smart and unembarrassed by this. She never tries to dumb things down for the boys in her life. She’s committed to justice, and time and time again she displays a level of bravery I can only dream of having.

Ma, from Emma Donoghue’s Room
Ma is in the worst of circumstances. She is damaged. And yet she is a fighter, because her five-year-old son, Jack, is with her, and she is fiercely protective of him. She is smart and creative, and though every other form of liberty is taken from her, she never apologizes for who she is. Though the book never enters her POV, it’s clear how much she loves her son, and how much she sacrifices for him, and how much pain she is in through it all.

Vin, from Brandon Sanderson’s Mistborn series.
For much of this series, Vin struggle with who she is, with how she fits in to the various roles placed on her, with how she can hold on to her true self. She is not books-smart, but she is crafty. This is another book where she is the more talented of the romantic pair, and she never apologizes for it. She is often scared and insecure, but she continues to fight for what she believes in. She sometimes takes foolhardy chances, but her heart is in the right place.

Juliet, from Alice Munro’s Runaway
I was fascinated by Juliet after reading only a few pages about her, though I have a hard time saying why. She is insecure and feels like an outcast, but she takes chances. She is introverted but cares deeply about those she loves. She makes mistakes but never stops trying to correct those mistakes.

Nynaeve al’Maera, from Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time series
Nynaeve may be my favorite fictional character of all time. Her character arc is fantastic, and she experiences a tremendous amount of growth. She is loyal and strong and passionate. She loves Lan deeply but when he’s not around, she doesn’t moon over him; she gets stuff done. She makes huge sacrifices but also knows when something is worth holding on to. As a character, she’s definitely flawed, but she is always trying to be better, to do better.

My sister and Ally Carter. I’m invisibly standing on the other side.

On Friday, I went to Ally Carter’s book signing with my sister. During the Q&A session someone asked her why it is that books for young adults are better than books for adults. “I pick up my daughter’s books,” she said, “and they’re more interesting than my own.”

Now, a few minutes before this question, someone had asked what advice Carter had for people who wanted to be writers, and her answer agreed 100% with mine, and was, I admit, fairly predictable to a writer: Read lots and write lots. (I think sometimes people think there’s some secret, since they keep asking, but really it comes down to this.)

Anyway, after hearing this answer, I was sort of nodding along, and I’ll admit to feeling a bit superior that we had this writing thing, at least, in common. But Carter’s answer to the question about YA vs. adult literature took me completely by surprise. Namely, she agreed.

I’m used to having people make fun of me, a writer of “serious” adult fiction, when I confess that I read—and enjoy—a lot of young adult writing, including, in this case, Carter’s Gallagher Girls series (in a nut shell: a series about an all-girls spy school). I’ve defended YA and other genre literature, and worked hard to stop referring to anything I enjoy as a “guilty pleasure,” as if it somehow means less. I was not, however, prepared to hear that tossed at literary fiction by the genres, however (and please note, I’m using these terms because they’re common, not because I necessarily agree with them).

My immediate thought was that, if there are people who think YA is far superior to adult fiction, they aren’t reading the right books. If the comparison is 50 Shades of Grey, okay, sure, we can talk about one being better written (and I think few people would argue), but to toss a whole genre aside?

I had to leave the signing shortly after this question since I had a soccer game to get to, and I left feeling frustrated. There’s so much competition between the genres, so much nastiness and name calling, and while Carter was very polite in her response, I never expected an author to take on a genre not her own in such a public place. Don’t get me wrong—I’m not angry, just a bit sad. And Ally Carter was funny and outgoing and she clearly loves her job and her fans. Still, I wanted to respond.

So here, for Ally Carter and the woman at the bookstore, are five books of grownup fiction (and I limited myself to novels written within the past five years) that I think absolutely rock:

• Room, by Emma Donoghue
• Mother and Child, by Carole Maso
• The Elegance of the Hedgehog, by Muriel Barbery
• Q Road, by Bonnie Jo Campbell
• Lush Life, by Richard Price

First, I tried to buy a house. I figured I could afford a decently priced house since I’m doing just fine spending a decent amount on rent each month. But then the bank decided not to count a large chunk of my income, since, as I understood it, I’m in a risky profession. Anyone could lose their job at any time, but I guess it only really matters if you’re a professor. Also, despite the fact that I made a certain amount of money last year, the bank doesn’t agree that I’ll make anything near that this year. The bank said I can only afford $400/month in housing expenses.

Then I thought about renting a house. There are probably great, realistically priced houses out there for rent, but I have no clue how anyone goes about finding these places. I’ve used every Google search I can think of, asked tons of people for recommendations, and I have yet to find a house for rent in a good neighborhood at a decent price.

Next, I started looking at different apartments. I found probably half a dozen that non-student housing in good locations, but they were either disgusting when I went to visit (think bad smells) or priced way too high for what I felt they were worth. We’re talking $900+ for the Lansing area for a two bedroom apartment (and, in one instance, a one bedroom). Then, lots of place were asking me to pay all utilities and to pay extra for a car port or garage ($125/month at one place). Add that to the insanely screwed up pet fees every place wants (nonrefundable deposit and monthly pet rent, plus deductions from the security deposit for any damages by the pet), and I was looking at paying well over a grand a month. You hear that, bank? The apartment complexes think I’m good for more than twice what you said I could afford!

Today, I’m off to visit one last place. It’s a triplex over by the East Lansing library. It has some features I like, but also some I’m nervous about, so we’ll see. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll probably just resign at my current place and spend another year complaining about it.

For anyone else who is looking for apartments in the area, here’s a quick breakdown of my thoughts. My requirements were that the place was pet friendly, had two bedrooms (or one bedroom and something that could serve as an office), had a dishwasher, and had a washer and dryer. Covered parking was a huge want for me as well, as were reasonable pet fees. Lots of storage space was also something I found fairly important.

Beacon Lake: Fairly priced, and the apartments look nice, but they’ve skimped on the details. It’s quiet, but I pay a price for the silence—namely, no washer/dryer, dishwasher, or garbage disposal after 10 p.m. As there are some nights I’m not home until that late (many nights, actually) I often go two weeks or more without finding time to do laundry. The appliances themselves are shoddy, too. If I fill the washer to the line, the clothes don’t get clean, and I have to run every load through the dryer at least twice. I’ve also done more than my fair share of hand washing dishes after they’ve come out of the dishwasher. Maintenance also got cranky with me after calling the emergency line one night when my smoke alarm wouldn’t stop going off. They wanted me to just detach it and muffle it under a blanket until morning. Still, it’s roomy—I have two bathrooms and a huge walk-in closet. Plus, everyone in the front office knows me by name since I’ve made so many complaints!

Club Meridian: Apartments looked all right but were not nice. Both of the ones I visited smelled bad.

The Beaumont: Lovely little apartments with the option for having a solarium instead of a second (or third) bedroom. They’re overpriced, however, at $900+, and you are responsible for all amenities (this is also the place that wanted over $100/month for a garage with no other covered parking available). With no club house, pool, or work out room, I don’t understand where all the rent money goes.

Woodland Lakes: Another nice place, though again overpriced at $915 for the second story two bedroom, with no utilities covered and carports extra. Still, this was probably the classiest place I visited, and it’s dog friendly. If I had a bit more money, I think I could live here happily. It had energy efficient appliances.

There were a few other places, too, though after driving by I’d already decided against it (for no covered parking option, or for being in a bad location).

Here’s hoping this new place works out.

Rivethead: Tales from the Assembly Line, by Ben Hamper
This was a book I meant to finish before the end of 2011 (I was up until midnight reading it), but I just ran out of time. I think, however, that I would have been able to move through it more quickly had I enjoyed it more. It’s a good book. I can recognize that. And it was really interesting to see the sort of invisible work that goes into our fancy (and not so fancy) cars. Still, this book wasn’t quite my style.

The Subversive Copy Editor, by Carol Fisher Saller
This was a book I assigned in my editing and publishing class. Usually class books don’t make my list because I don’t make the students read the whole thing, and so I end up only skimming sections I know they’re going to skip. This book I did end up giving to my students in full, however, and I would have read the entire thing even if I hadn’t. The book is written by the same woman who writes the FAQ page on the Chicago Manual of Style’s website, and it’s just as awesomely hilarious. My one complaint is that I prefer the spelling copyeditor to copy editor.

The Way of Kings, by Brandon Sanderson
I think I started this book back over the summer, but the delay in my finishing it really had very little to do with the story itself. Yes, I did think some parts could have been put into summary, or could have moved at a faster pace, but I felt connected to the characters, and I really found myself cheering for them. I’m looking forward to the second book in the series, which is rumored to be coming out later this year.

Gregor the Overlander, by Suzanne Collins
This is the first book in Suzanne Collins’ middle grade series, and while I enjoyed it, I found it too predictable. It’s really quite good for its audience, but it’s probably not a series I’ll return to unless I’m one day reading it to a child.

February
In February, my maternal grandmother passed away—while my parents were on a Caribbean cruise. I had to call them on the boat and have them come home. No one has died in my family before (not since my great grandmother when I was still too young to really remember), so it was, essentially, a new experience for me. What I’ll always remember, though, was standing outside the door to my grandmother’s room, listening while my aunts and cousins sang hymns to her until she died. I think that’s how she would have wanted it.

The Girl Who Was on Fire, edited by Leah Wilson
This is a collection of essays about the Hunger Games series. Books like this tend to be uneven in nature, and this was, but it was much better than others I’ve read. Some of the essays were just fantastic, and while I disagreed strongly with others, I could still see where they were coming from. If you’re a Hunger Games fan, this is worth a read.

The Eye of the World, by Robert Jordan
I tend to read this book, the first Wheel of Time book, ever year or so, but this read marked the beginning of my final incomplete reread. In preparation for the final book coming out in early 2013, I decided to try to get one last reread in, and of the thirteen books of the series that were out at the time, this one is probably my favorite. I found this book originally in seventh grade, and while I didn’t understand it all at the time, something about it still hooked me. Now, fifteen years later, it still has an almost magical hold on me.

Ayiti, by Roxane Gay
I absolutely loved this collection by Roxane Gay, the same woman who accepted my short story at PANK. I moved awkwardly through this collection, sometimes tearing through it, other times forcing myself to slow down to try to savor it.

March
March started with a trip to Chicago for the 2012 AWP conference. I hadn’t been able to make it in 2011 (financial reasons), and I won’t make it again this year, 2013 (also for financial reasons), but in 2012, everything fell into place. Our panel was accepted, and I got to wear the fancy badge for Fourth Genre. I really loved my time sitting at the table and talking to writers, and our panel went well. Unfortunately I had to miss a few panels I really wanted to see (migraine), but I did get to attend a pretty awesome meeting. I also met with Sam, my grad school advisor, and he gave me some advice on how to get better networked in the writing community. That meant that I ended the month by taking on a volunteer position with the Lit Pub, helping them with their Twitter and Facebook pages. Finally, I had my fourth (and hopefully final) ankle surgery this month, after spending a few extra days in Chicago to hang out with Donna.

Oh, the Hunger Games movie also came out this month (my sister and I went to the midnight showing), and the MSU basketball team lost in the NCAA tournament in a truly embarrassing fashion—both on the same day.

Cataclysm Baby, by Matt Bell
I think I really bugged the girl at the Mud Luscious Press table, because I knew they were going to have some copies, and I kept stopping by every few minutes, determined to get one. I did, and I read it that evening. Matt Bell is probably one of my favorite authors, and, like his other work, this book did not disappoint. It’s a baby names book for the end of the world, and that’s really all you need to know.

In My Father’s House, by John Hodgen
This was another AWP acquisition. I found one of EWU’s poetry professors and asked for a recommendation for a beginning poetry reader. He chose well when he recommended this book, though there were enough typesetting and/or editorial errors to provide a bit too much distraction.

The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins
I reread this in preparation of the Hunger Games movie coming out. I still adore this book series.

The Great Hunt, by Robert Jordan
Another one of my favorite books in the Wheel of Time series. This is the second book.

Zia, by Scott O’Dell
I really didn’t enjoy this book, but I didn’t really expect to after having Island of the Blue Dolphins feel flat to me. I think the O’Dell books are too episodic for me.

Goliath, by Scott Westerfeld
The final book in this steampunk trilogy, Goliath had a bit of the sequel slump issue (strangely, more so than did the second book in the series), but I still enjoyed it. The two main characters considered to shine for me, though Deryn was closer to my heart, as I found Aleks a bit whiny at times.

April
In April, I moved out of my parents’ basement and into a two bedroom place out in Mason. It took a bit of time for me to get used to after living with my parents for almost two years, but it was a good switch, overall. A few days before I moved, my parents adopted a new dog, too. His name is Leo and he’s a rat terrier from a rat terrier rescue.

Catching Fire, by Suzanne Collins
Still awesome. Unlike some fans, I have a hard time choosing my favorite book of this trilogy.

Wicked, by Gregory Maguire
I am now officially in the camp of people who do not like Wicked, and after having it be my favorite book for years, this is more than a little bit disappointing. Maguire as an author just tends to be too quirky for me, and it often feels as if the quirk exists solely for quirkiness’ sake.

Mockingjay, by Suzanne Collins
Also unlike some fans, I don’t consider this ending to be bad, and I get the point of the epilogue.

Honolulu, by Alan Brennert
My mom gave me this book after she finished it. I was hesitant to read it at first. Since my mom tends to not enjoy things I love, I’ve sort of taken that to mean I also won’t enjoy the things she likes. That turned out to not be the case. I did like this book. I didn’t love it, but I did really like it. And now my mom and I have started our own two-person book club. Turns out we do have mostly similar tastes, as long as I keep my “high literary” books away.

May
May was a good month, generally speaking. I had two weeks off between my spring and summer classes, and I used that time to relax. May also marked the end of my coaching career, though I would run the tryouts in June. It was fun, but also frustrating, and the long drive combined with lack of pay made it untenable.

Gourmet Rhapsody, by Muriel Barbery
This book was okay. I liked the idea, and I liked that it had characters from Elegance of the Hedgehog, but it didn’t shine for me like that book did. Still, I enjoyed it well enough.

Jacob Wonderbar for President of the Universe, by Nathan Bransford
These books (this is the second in a series) are just fun. They’re middle grade, but unlike the Suzanne Collins book I read in January, these books keep me more on my toes. I also really like the author—you know, as much as one can having only read a blog.

I’d Tell You I Love You, But Then I’d Have to Kill You, by Ally Carter
This was a reread for me (I reread the whole series so far in 2012), and I still really love this book. I picked it up a few years back on a whim (this is another book I discovered through blogs), and I found it so funny and engaging that I went out and bought the rest of the books in the series.

The Folding Star and Other Poems, by Jacek Gutorow
I got this book randomly. Matt Bell had an offer where you paid for a box/shipping and he would send you random books from his overly stuffed bookshelves. This was one of four items I received. It’s poetry in translation (from Polish, if I recall correctly), and it’s probably the most enjoyable collection of poetry I’ve ever read. Apparently I do best when other people choose books for me.

The Dragon Reborn, by Robert Jordan
The third book in the Wheel of Time series.

June
June was another good month. My dad took my sister and me to Washington, DC, for an extended weekend. I went there once as a kid, but I was too young to really appreciate anything. This time was much more interesting. Equally exciting was Missy’s birthday dinner at the Melting Pot. I’m sure more happened, but I’m too focused on melted cheese right now.

Slammerkin, by Emma Donoghue
Emma Donoghue is another author I’m coming to really love. This book wasn’t as good, for me, as Room was, and it was a challenge to be in the head of such an unlikeable (yet not unsympathetic) character. I doubt I’ll ever reread this novel, but it has certainly stuck with me.

This Is Not Your City, by Caitlin Horrocks
I’ve found in Caitlin Horrocks a writer I aspire to be like. Other writers have work ethics, levels of success, etc., that I like, but for the first time ever, when reading this book, I came across a line and though, hey, I could have written that line. As in, I recognize my style in her writing. It was only one line out of thousands, but it was a great feeling. And this was a great story collection.

The Golden Compass, by Philip Pullman
This was another reread. I still really like these books (I’m hoping to reread books two and three this year), but they don’t have that same punch for me they did the first time around.

The Shadow Rising, by Robert Jordan
The fourth book in the Wheel of Time series.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower, by Stephen Chbosky
After hearing there was going to be a movie made from this book, and that it was going to have Emma Watson in it, I decided to give this book another try. When I first read it years ago, I couldn’t stand it (and I’ve never been a bit fan of epistolary novels), but this time around, I fell in love.

July
July marked the end of my summer teaching. However, I also spent over a week this month incredibly sick with food poisoning. Beyond those two things (and doing a bit of freelance work), not much happened. One (small) cool thing, though, was that I got to watch the Fourth of July fireworks with my dad at his hanger in Mason. That meant no crowds and a great view.

The Fires of Heaven, by Robert Jordan
The fifth book in the Wheel of Time series.

Interpreter of Maladies, by Jhumpa Lahiri
This was apparently the year when I was either reading huge fantasy novels or short story collections. This was the latter, obviously, and it was another great one. Jhumpa Lahiri writes in a style that is so different from my own, and I really feel as if she’s a writer I learn a lot from, because while it may be different, her style is still one I’m interested in.

Hood, by Emma Donoghue
I loved this book, about a woman dealing with her lover’s death, but also with the time they spent together (because you find out her lover wasn’t the nicest woman at times). Like Slammerkin, this didn’t live up to Room for me, but it was still really darn good.

August
August was a whirlwind of a month. I was in full prep mode for fall semester (and indeed, fall semester started at the very end of the month), but I was also planning a trip to Disney World with my mom and sister. We went the week after my ten year high school reunion (which was a disappointment even considering my low expectations). Together, we girls spent one week at Disney, riding rides, seeing cool shows, eating delicious food, and hanging out with my cousin Erin. We even spent a day at Universal (mostly for the Wizarding World of Harry Potter), and half of a day at one of the water parks (at which I ended up having to go to the first aid station after an unfortunately incident in the wave pool). I was happy to go along, but I wasn’t super excited, but as soon as we got there, I changed my mind. Even now, months later, I still have Disney fever and can’t wait to go back.

Finally, my parents adopted a kitten this month. His name is Seamus.

Lord of Chaos, by Robert Jordan
The sixth book in the Wheel of Time series.

Cross My Heart and Hope to Spy, by Ally Carter
The sequel to I’d Tell You I Love You, But Then I’d Have to Kill You, this is the second book in the Gallagher Girls series, and it stayed, for me, almost as strong as the first. I really like this series; it’s so much fun to read.

Don’t Judge a Girl by Her Cover, by Ally Carter
The third book in the Gallagher Girls series, this one introduces what is really the main line of tension in the coming books, but it also marked the spot in the series where I started to enjoy the books slightly less (only four out of five stars from here on).

Only the Good Spy Young, by Ally Carter
The fourth book in the Gallagher Girls series.

Out of Sight, Out of Time, by Ally Carter
The fifth and planned penultimate book in the Gallagher Girls series.

September
September marked the month that put classes in full swing. I taught two sections of a grammar and style class and one section of the first-year writing course. This is also the month when I found out that HR had misinformed me and that I did, in fact, have the opportunity to get health insurance. So nice to know!

September was also the month of my 28^th birthday. I love my birthdays. My family went out to dinner at Tony Sacco’s the night before and then I met some friends at the bar next door for drinks. The next morning I received some Harry Potter Lego sets as gifts, which meant I spent my 28^th birthday acting like a six year old. The sad thing, though, was that my birthday was the day of our loss to Notre Dame, which really marked the turning point in our season. Still, tailgating was fun, and my mom made me funfetti cupcakes.

Crown of Swords, by Robert Jordan
The seventh book in the Wheel of Time series.

Girls to the Rescue, by Bruce Lansky
I loved this book as a kid (it’s a book of fairy tales where girls do the saving and are generally awesome), and it was fun to read again. September was actually marked by my reading a lot of books I hadn’t read in twenty years or so, since one of my Day Zero goals was to reread ten books from my childhood.

Little House in the Big Woods, by Laura Ingalls Wilder
I didn’t like this book, which surprised me, because I do remember liking the whole series as a girl. Apparently I really liked episodic books back then.

The Giver, by Lois Lowry
This book was okay on its reread. I did still like it, but I couldn’t help but see all of the issues with how the world worked (the math just doesn’t add up!). Still, it was enjoyable enough.

October
In October, I was offered a fourth class since one of my colleagues was going to take a leave of absence. So at the end of the month, I stepped in and took over a visual rhetoric class. This meant that I didn’t really do much either this month or next. I continued to attend football games on the weekends (we got worse, not better, it seemed), and that was about it.

Path of Daggers, by Robert Jordan
The eighth book in the Wheel of Time series.

Winter’s Heart, by Robert Jordan
The ninth book in the Wheel of Time series.

Mother and Child, by Carole Maso
I read this book to review at the Collagist, so I won’t say much here; the review comes out February 15. Suffice it to say that this book rocked.

November
November was insane for me, with my four classes. Thanksgiving was a welcome break, and I made sure to actually take a few days off (I have the bad habit of not taking time for myself). Still, despite getting a breather, November marked the fourth month of the worst case of writers block I’ve ever had, and at this point I was getting desperate. I could sit down and make myself write, but I hated everything that came out.

Crossroads of Twilight, by Robert Jordan
The tenth book in the Wheel of Time series.

Winter of Fire, by Sherryl Jordan
One of my favorite books as a child, this story is set in our world at an unknown but distant point in the future. The story centers on Elsha, a young slave girl who is chosen to be handmaid to the most powerful man in the world. It’s about inequality, and finding your own worth, and so many other wonderful things. And there’s also apparently a sex scene that I read right past as a kid.

The Language of Rain and Wind, by John Krumberger
My aunt gave me this book of poems, which was written by her brother. I didn’t love it, since I haven’t yet met a poetry collection I loved, but I did like it. I didn’t feel as if the poems all went over my head, and I enjoyed quite a few of them.

Number the Stars, by Lois Lowry
Apparently episodic writing was just a thing when I was growing up. I kept waiting for a sustained plot arc, but then the book ended.

December

December was a good month. The semester came to a satisfying close, and then I had genuine time off work, not just a few hours here and there. My family made an effort to celebrate a bit more this year, and so we had some really good days. Seamus, who turned nine months old on Christmas day, thought the holidays were really awesome, though, because of the Christmas tree (Molly ate some of the lights off it too, but that’s a different story). MSU won their bowl game and I had a quiet New Years Eve.

Knife of Dreams, by Robert Jordan
The eleventh book in the Wheel of Time series.

The Language of Flowers, by Vanessa Diffenbaugh
This is the first book that my mom and I decided to read together. This story is about a girl leaving the foster system at eighteen and trying to make a life for herself. There were some problems with withholding and tension, but on the whole, I really liked this book.

The Gathering Storm, by Robert Jordan and Brandon Sanderson
The twelfth book in the Wheel of Time series.

Train Dreams, by Denis Johnson
I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about this book. I picked it up right before bed and kept telling myself that I’d only read one more chapter. Except, next thing I knew, I finished the whole thing. It’s a short book, true, but it did pull me along.

Super Sad True Love Story, by Gary Shteyngart
This was the second book my mom and I read together, and this one prompted a whole lot of discussion. At first I was a little turned off by the raunchy beginning (it did seem a little overdone to me), but in the end, I really enjoyed this book—both on a pure story level, but also on the political/social level.

Birds of a Lesser Paradise, by Megan Mayhew Bergman
It’s hard for me to say anything coherent about this story collection other than that I liked it. For some reason, it bothers me an almost unreasonable amount when bad things happen to animals (or to a relationship a person has with animals), and so I often couldn’t read more than one or two of these stories at a time. But I think that’s really a mark of how well the author pulled me in to each of these stories.

But over the four years I’ve had the blog, I haven’t actually done much writing. There are posts here and there than I’m happy with, but mostly, it’s felt like an unwelcome commitment to me. The  more I think about this, the more I realize it isn’t that I don’t want to blog, it’s that I’m unhappy without a clear blogging purpose. So my goal this year is to fix that, to find my purpose. That means I’ll be experimenting with what I post. I’d like to talk more about the reading I’m doing, but I’m also going to let myself write about different types of things (such as my teaching, or the hunt I’m on right now to find non-apartment housing, or the fact that I’ve started a second Day Zero Project). I’m also going to try to take and post more images. Basically, I’m going to try to turn this blog into something I’m happily committed to.

My first order of business will be to do my annual year-end review in books—something I genuinely enjoy writing each year—but then, I’m going to sit back, relax, and try something new. Hopefully, after playing for a while, I’ll have a clear idea of what I want this space to be.

Then, they repassed emergency manager legislation that contains key aspects of the previous law that voters overturned a month ago; a massive anti-choice bill that was too controversial to pass before elections and that will make Michigan one of the most extremely restrictive state in the nation; a concealed-carry law that will allow people to take concealed weapons into day care centers, churches, schools, and stadiums despite the large amount of gun violence we see already; finally, they repealed the personal property tax, which will give businesses almost a $600 per year tax break—yes, this in the state that has slashed tax breaks for low- and middle-class citizens (EIC, a child tax credit…). All these bills are expected to be signed by Snyder, though he promised us once that he was about making the touch business decisions, not about gutting social rights.

“Take the state back,” people say on the right. “We need to take the state [and the country] back.” But my question here is always: “Back from whom?” Liberals aren’t holding the people hostage; we are outsiders who have come to crush American ideals. We live here too, and our ideals promote peace, unity, justice, fairness—and I’m pretty sure all of those are American ideals.

In the last few days, my state has begun to feel like a hostile place. I was happy to move back here after graduating from my MFA program. I was proud to say I was from Michigan. I love my state. So much so, in fact, that I was willing to make a one-day sacrifice for my own goals and dreams and stay here instead.

You see, I want to teach creative writing. Ideally at a graduate level, but undergrad would be good, too. Except, until now, I’ve always seen that dream as fairly far-fetched. I didn’t want to leave Michigan, didn’t want to leave the Lansing-area, despite the fact that I would almost certainly have to move, one day, for the job I want. Until now, my love of Michigan—my home—and my career goals were too close in importance to call. But now…

But now, I think I’d be—perhaps not glad but rather content to leave. This isn’t the type of threat people make after each presidential election (“I’m moving to Canada!”). I plan to be in Michigan for many years to come still while I finish writing and then sell my first book. I don’t hate it here, but in many ways, I don’t feel welcome here. My voice is not, and will not, be heard. Too many are determined to have it their way or no way, and that, definitely, is not an American ideal.

First, I accomplished some big things: I got my MFA and I read my work in public for the first time. I had a short story (“The Woman Next Door”) published in a print journal. I had surgery to remove some suture from my ankle. I went to France, where I was able to order an entire meal speaking only French.

Next, I did some fun things that I’m not sure I’d have gotten around to without this list to prompt me. I ate lunch along the Red Cedar River. I played Frisbee. I went bowling until I bowled a 150 (and haven’t been back since, which is sad). I bought (and wore) a summer sun dress.

One thing I failed for reasons beyond me: My dad didn’t finish his plane in time for me to go riding in it. I did, however, help him during the building process.

Some things, I no longer want to do. I don’t want a PhD, and I don’t need another master’s—while I always loved being in school (and miss it in a lot of ways), I’ve come to realize that getting another degree isn’t for me; I’ve got other things I want to do. I didn’t join a professional organization because I don’t feel the benefit is enough to warrant this right now. I didn’t finish my novel, either, because I’ve been working on short stories instead; it’s still percolating in the back of my head, but I’m not ready to commit to it yet. I didn’t cook a turkey because I hate touching raw meat and, let’s be honest, what does someone living alone need a turkey for?

Some things I’m disappointed in myself for not accomplishing. I never sent out holiday cards, and I only made one extra payment on my student loans instead of three—in fact, I ended up decreasing my payments instead. I never did find the courage to speak up when I found something offensive (I didn’t count online or things I said to family, as those weren’t things I had trouble with before either). I didn’t go ice skating because it was something too easy to put off.

After everything, though, I’m really happy I took part in this project. It’s been nice to set goals and track them; it’s been nice to see how I’ve changed and how much I’m accomplished. It reminds me that I do things to be proud of, and that I do things that make me happy. It reminds me that my writing career is moving along, even when I can’t help but notice all the people my age (and younger!) who have accomplished so much more. I’ve had self-esteem problems over the years, and while those bad days are rare for me now, having something like this reminds me that I am doing things, that I am moving forward.

I start my new list on Friday, and I’m looking forward to another great ride.

I always turn these requests down—politely at first, as I tend to operate under the assumption that these people honestly don’t realize how rude they are being—but if the person persists, I stop caring so much about being nice in favor of caring about being valued as a working professional in a very legitimate career field.

For those of you who don’t know, I freelance these services. I have worked freelance or contract projects on web design, writing, developmental editing, copyediting, and consulting. The lowest amount I ever charged was $15/hour for web design work while I was still a student (and even then I short changed myself fairly severely). Now I primarily write and edit for freelance work. I charge between $40 and $65 per hour for this work.

If you have never worked as a freelance writer or editor, or if you have never hired a freelance writer or editor at a fair wage, these prices may seems exorbitantly high. They aren’t. I actually tend to charge on the low- to mid-end of industry standard rates (www.writersmarket.com/assets/pdf/How_Much_Should_I_Charge.pdf). I have never had any professional client balk at these rates. In fact, the rate I pitch is usually accepted right away, without any type of negotiation, which tells me that I still could (and maybe should) make more.

So why I am able to make this much freelancing? The short answer is because the work I do has real value. If these clients could do it themselves—if you could do it yourself—you wouldn’t need me. But you do. And if I am going to be performing professional-grade work for you, I deserve to make a professional-grade rate. My work has value, and you need to recognize that. The fact that we once knew each other ten years ago, or the fact that we’re Facebook friends, or the fact that we have a mutual friend—none of these things warrant a discount. They certainly don’t earn you free work.

Sometimes people respond to me by saying they just want me to look over the work quickly. “It shouldn’t take long,” they say (I even had one person tell me I couldn’t possibly be busy enough to not have time). There are two main problems with this idea. First is the fact I stated above—if these people could do it themselves, they wouldn’t need me. Since they do need me, that means my skill has value and merits some type of compensation. Second, I am a professional, and that means I will never just “glance” over something. If it needs work, I will give it that work. If there is pay and a contract involved (and a deadline, or a budget), I will, of course, prioritize and may even leave some things alone, but in this scenario there is a clear agreement and there are clear expectation for and from both sides. When you ask me to edit for free or for an unreasonable rate, there is nothing that protects me—you are the only one who can benefit. In this case, my professional integrity hurts me.

There are, however, exceptions to every rule, I suppose. I do work for my immediate family without charging sometimes, and, when I do charge, I usually give them a reduced rate. Close friends fall under the same deal. I’ll do shorter projects for free (this is a time when I will accept food or drink as payment—but that’s because they’re people I hang out with already), and again offer lower rates for larger work. I give discounts to extended family and close acquaintances as well, depending on our relationship and the type of work they want done. I never charge my students. If they are asking for something unreasonable, I will simply refuse to do it. I will, however, read personal statements, resumes, cover letters, etc., for my students. I do this happily. I consider it a part of my job as a professor, even though it is beyond the classroom. I had many wonderful mentors and I want to give the same thing to my students.

Finally, there is one group of people for whom I will provide nearly any type of editing service without charging. This group consists of my grad school friends, writer friends, and close colleagues. I will work for free for these people at any time because they do the same for me in return. These are all people I trust to provide solid feedback on my own work and who, in turn, trust me to do the same for them. We don’t keep track of who does what, and we don’t keep score—instead, we help each other succeed. (And then we thank them profusely when we do.)

So, in conclusion, if you are not one of the people listed in the two preceding paragraphs and you want me to write or edit for you, I will do so happily—but I will have you sign a contract, and you will pay me a fair wage.